Ever find yourself wondering why your new bae feels a lot like the old bae? Avoid dating the same offender, with this check list.
Lack Of Self-Awareness
Despite how frequently people claim to know themselves, we can only be aware of that which we are conscience of. Self-awareness helps us to understand how our behaviors and habits impact others. In a world where we have been taught to blame others, it is rare that people truly take a long hard look at their own faults and flaws. Without this self-awareness, it can be easy to attract the same type of person.
Limited Insight
Along with a lack of awareness, sometimes people are unaware of how to draw deeper meaning from their past relationships and experiences. At other times, they may avoid going deeper because of discomfort, ambivalence, or fear. Nevertheless, insight produces wisdom which helps us to learn something new about ourselves. Insight also helps us to understand the interrelationship between past experiences and our ability to choose a new partner.
Hidden Blind Spots
Our car mirrors are used to draw awareness of our blind spots within a car. Psychologically speaking, our blind spots are perspectives that can cause us to be in favor of or turned off by a certain individual. Blind spots determine the kind of people we choose to date and those we choose to avoid dating.
Unresolved Traumas
It goes without saying that a single traumatic event can yield multiple triggers. These triggers often attract and repel the same kind of partners. They also can produce and perpetuate the same type of unhealthy, abusive, and dysfunctional dynamics. Nevertheless, the more conscience you are about your trauma and triggers, the less likely you will be attracted to and attract the same prospective partners.
Ignoring Your Gut or Intuition
Your gut or intuition is like your own personal alarm that notifies you when another person is safe or harmful. This alarm system was created in childhood through relationships with our parents. Whether these relationships with our parents were positive, negative, or mixed, they taught us to trust our gut, ignore our instincts, and/or question our intuition. By doing this, you were also taught to hear, ignore, or de-program your own inner alarm.
Be A Partner In Crime with Your Own Mental Wellness
As you might have guessed it, the kind of people you date says a lot about your own mental health. Yet examining your own psyche and remaining objective can be difficult at best. Therefore, the best thing you can do is get counseling, enlist the help of a trust friend who can list objectively, or get an accountability partner. Happy picking!
Want more reading? Start with this blog: Startling Reasons You May Not Be Selfless At All – Embrace Life Consulting & Wellness
Practice dating in the ATL here.
