The divorce rate for married couples has held steady at around 50% for decades. While many spouses have claimed that they were blindsided by divorce papers, here are some surefire ways to make sure your marriage ends in divorce.
Expecting Your Partner To Always Agree With You
It’s important for both partners to feel heard and validated in a marriage. However, it’s unrealistic to expect your spouse to always see things from your perspective. Expecting constant agreement is a behavior more typical of children, who often struggle to understand differing viewpoints. Adults, on the other hand, should be able to acknowledge that two opposing perspectives can coexist, even if they don’t align. This inability to understand differing views can lead to surprises, much like when a divorce petition is unexpectedly served.
Refusing to Communicate with Your Partner Properly
Navigating intense disagreements can be challenging, but some people choose to damage their relationship through poor communication. Name-calling, character assassination, speaking over your partner, using a condescending tone, or giving the silent treatment are all dysfunctional communication tactics that make resolving conflicts nearly impossible.
Infidelity & Dishonesty
Dishonesty is a major trust breaker in any relationship. Once trust is lost, the love your spouse once felt for you can quickly fade. Cheating, withholding important information, and being dishonest will inevitably fuel a divorce. These behaviors can not only lead to the dissolution of the marriage, but also result in significant legal and financial consequences if your spouse pursues them.
Refusing to Reflect on Yourself and Your Own Shortcomings
Acknowledging your flaws can be tough and humbling. Feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy often accompany self-reflection, but it’s a powerful tool for growth. When you reflect honestly, you open yourself up to learning from your mistakes and becoming a better version of yourself. This self-improvement can breathe new life into your marriage and family. It’s a more affordable approach to personal growth than spending money on physical enhancements or extravagant experiences just to get your partner to forgive you. In addition, the rate on return will most assuredly yield a positive rate on your investment.
Making Your Marriage A Transaction
Every profession in the world involves a service-oriented mindset—no one works in isolation. While it’s nice to be supported by your partner, approaching the relationship with a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” mentality can be damaging. This transactional mindset reduces your spouse to an asset to be exploited for their skills and resources, rather than fostering a partnership built on love, respect, and mutual care.
Nothing Worth Having Is Easy
We live in a world of “easy,” where we can have almost anything that we want within a matter of minutes or even days. Nevertheless, the consequences of choosing an easier route might remain unseen until years later. The easiest thing you can do is work on your marriage. It is also the most cost effective and your children will most certainly thank you for it later on especially if both of you are willing to cooperate, communicate, and change. Furthermore, if you can’t work it out, feel free to make an appointment today. I would be happy to help walk with you as you work towards goals that will give you a better quality of life.
Headed for a divorce and don’t know what to do? Try these additional resources:
To Heal or To Fix? That Really Is the Question – Embrace Life Consulting & Wellness
