Many people have had unpleasant experiences with church people. These are your Nosy Nancys and your Better than Bobs who place their nose, influence, or opinions squarely within your marriage, family, or life. Before you know it, all chaos ensues. However, they’ve moved on to their next bid for destruction, and you’re left picking up the pieces. This can be an extremely unpleasant experience causing some to break ties with the Church and even God. Here are some tips to help you glean more lessons than losses the next time conflict occurs.
Christ Was Frequently Mistreated
We must remember that what we’ve encountered is not unlike what Christ encountered during his lifetime. He was talked about, spat upon, lied on and even crucified and murdered by church folk who were well versed in God’s word. Christ noted “For John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say ‘He has a demon!’ The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Behold, a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by all her children” (Luke 7:33-34). However, the Lord continued to challenge them in their behavior and their beliefs. He persevered and in the end was victorious.
You Can Trade Burdens
When life looks bleak and our hearts are heavy with sadness from inside the church, Jesus reminds us that we can trade our burden for His. Christ beckoned “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). There are ways to feel lighter. You can pray for the peace that surpasses all understanding. You can count your blessings which will foster an attitude of gratitude, and lastly, you can read the Bible for encouragement and possible resolutions.
The Lord Cherishes Your Brokenheart
While church people may show no empathy or compassion for our broken hearts, we can find compassion and shelter in Him. Psalm 34:8 bids us to “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:18-20 promises that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.” Our brokenness is not only welcomed by God, but He also views it as an opportunity to save us. Moreover, if the Lord is on your side, whom can truly be against you?
You Can Repent
None of us are perfect. We’ve all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. However, because of Jesus Christ, we have repentance. Although church people’s comments can be innocent, they can make us feel guilt and shame over our sin. Nevertheless, confronting our sins can also remind us of God’s forgiveness. Furthermore, Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds us that “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”” Since God forgives us, we can forgive ourselves, and be resolute in our commitment to sin no more. This is an opportunity that no church member can take away from you.
You Can Overcome Church Drama
Navigating our Christian walk when other Christians are involved can feel intimidating, uncomfortable and terrifying. Paul declared “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13). Furthermore, Paul wrote at least a few letters to various churches who are all experiencing their own forms of drama. He included resolutions in each letter not only expounding upon how to resolve the conflict, but also proving that it is possible to work through conflict within the church.
You Can Live the Example You Want To See
Because of what we’ve been through with other church folk, these experiences can help us become more empathic towards others who will experience their own anguish and sadness in church conflicts. If our church body isn’t what we’d like it to be, we can be the change that we want to see. Being a change agent within the church definitely won’t be easy however, Christ confirmed “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). No matter how bad church drama is, your commitment is to God, and strengthening your relationship with Him is the only one that truly matters. Christ’s example proves that if he can make it, so can you.
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