Breakups can be emotionally and mentally draining. With a narcissist, vacillating between returning or not can sometimes prove to be the most taxing. Here are tips to help you maintain your freedom and your peace of mind.
Get Active Not Destructive
With their soul draining antics, it’s normal to feel rage and irritability after the final discard from a narcissist. This can be true even if you discard first. Get angry, but don’t become destructive; instead, get active. Engage in kick boxing, running, self-defense classes, increase your workouts, take a dance class, or train for a marathon! Heck, why not a triathlon. You’ve built up enough steam to push through any pain or discomfort you might feel in training!
Silence Their Criticism and Calm Your Own
It can be hard to quiet your mind when all you hear is the narcissist’s jeering, their insults, and/or their lies ringing in your ears. On the other hand, maybe the voice of doubt is your own. Take Pilates and/or yoga. Engage in meditation and mindfulness. Make that narcissist disappear time and time again. Whether you imagine leaving your narcissist in an open field of quicksand or a volcano, create a safe space within yourself that you can always return to when you’re stressed. Notice where it feels the calmest in your body, and learn how to access that space whenever you need it.
Get Journaling
Still thinking about the narcissist and wishing that you could return to a world of chaos, confusion, with zero responsibility? Settle down with a good journal and use the following prompts to dive deeper into your psyche.
Why do I deserve to keep someone like this in my life?
Why should I make their treatment of me a normal thing or even make time for it?
Do I really want to spend another day waking up to these horrible feelings of doubt, uncertainty, unrest, and unhappiness? If so, why?
Is there another option than waking up and feeling like this?
What good things did this person provide to me that I want to keep, and is there any way to give them to myself?
Are there other healthier people who have given me these same good feelings/experiences or who have also made me feel this positive and healthy without causing me all the drama, desperation, confusion, hurt, loss, and disappointment that I currently feel now? What keeps me from spending more time with these positive and healthy individuals?
How do I want to choose to spend the rest of my life–in pain, confusion, and disappointment or with joy, happiness and in harmony with myself.
Refuse To Isolate Again: Talk It Out
One of the most valuable things you can do is see a therapist or reconnect with those will support, love, and encourage you. Nevertheless, a therapist will help you cope with unwanted thoughts, competing feelings of wanting to return to your narcissist, and impulsive urges to reconnect with your narcissist. A therapist skilled in trauma will help you heal from this event as being with a narcissist is just that–traumatic. Capture an hour every week to focus on your pain, receive empathy and validation, and start the process of healing to wholeness today!
Still wondering why and how you attracted a narcissist to you in the first place? Click the link below and read on:
Knowledge is power. Check out these books on narcissism
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of… by Bancroft, Lundy (amazon.com)
