(Part 2)
In the first part, we not only explored the negative narratives keeping your nagging wife around, but also, we identified the origins of your responses. In this second half, we will look at other ways to possibly make your nagging wife disappear. Read on for more solutions to this pressing problem.
Put Yourself In Her Shoes
If you can remember having had any of the aforementioned responses given to you as a child, then surely you know how this can make one feel. Guess what? Your wife feels the exact same way. This doesn’t make you two different, it actually makes you two the same. You both may be feeling frustrated, stuck, and hopeless to resolve a situation. If that is the case, then let the similarity lead you to empathize.
Validate
First and foremost, I can hear you saying that you’ve already communicated time and time again to your wife, but she still nags you endlessly. Whatever response you gave her, it probably neither exhibited empathy nor validation. Ask yourself, “when I was hurt or in need as a kid, what would have been most helpful in that time? What would have made me feel better in that moment?” Chances are it was validation. The response to your wife may sound something like “I can see that the faucet is leaking. The water bill will more than likely be higher if this continues.” Notice that the response addresses the problem. It doesn’t attack, belittle, or vilify your wife.
Formulate A Plan & Follow Through With It
Even though, we live in the age of technology, you may not readily know how to resolve a problem. Nevertheless, you have a wealth of knowledge at your fingertips. Do some Google searches. Look the problem up on YouTube, and take some notes. Talk to others who may have had the same issue to ascertain feedback. Then take some time out to create a plan. Afterwards, present it to your wife. Give her a time frame for when you plan to have everything done, even if you have to break it down into phases.
But What If . . .
Your plan is met with criticism?
Communicate!
Start with how her response makes you feel. You can say, “you know every time you criticize my plans, it makes me feel inadequate, angry, and hurt.”
Tell her how it impacts you. You can say, “every time you respond critically, it makes me reluctant to tell you anything else. In fact, it makes me not want to do anything to fix the problem at all.”
If she compares your solution to her own, her dad’s or her neighbor’s, you can say, “whenever you compare my plans to someone else, it makes me feel defeated. It makes me think that I am not the right man for you. I begin to think that I may be better suited for someone else.”
Nevertheless, if your wife responds negatively in any kind of way, it is okay to say “although you may be reluctant or hesitant to trust my plan, I would really appreciate it, if you would trust me on this one. If it doesn’t work out, then we can always try it your way.” Then follow through. Keep her updated at every phase so that she knows you’re doing everything you can to fix the problem and continue to lead her and your family in the right direction.
Bonus: Whether you have a daughter or son make sure you take them with you so that they can see how real men lead!
Feeling encouraged to keep being the best MAN for your wife and your family? Check out these additional resources:
Missed the first half of this blog? Check it out here: Live Your Best Life With A Nag Free Wife – Embrace Life Consulting & Wellness (embracelifeconsultingwellnessinc.com)
