Positively communicating with others is not only great for our mental health, but also for the stability, endurance, and preservation of our relationships. Nevertheless, people often take communication for granted especially when it comes to communicating with a partner, parent, or child. We can often believe that we’re communicating one thing, yet in actuality, we are communicating something entirely different. It can be exasperating to be caught in a full screaming match, especially if the request or comment was done so innocently. Read on and learn more about one of the first principles to excellent communication.
The Explicit “I Said What I Said” Way of Communicating
When it comes to communicating, people often don’t realize that there are two types of communication. There is communication and metacommunication. Communication is at its base literally the words that are coming out of someone’s mouth. An example might be, “Hey, can you help me fold this duvet?” Metacommunication is the communication about the communication. It is the implicit or underlying meanings behind our communication. In and of itself, it is its own dynamic. To the aforementioned request, the speaker or sender may be asking for help. However, to the receiver, the request may be layered with emotional landmines.
The Implicit “Here We Go Again” Way of Communicating
To the receiver, that simple request may be just the tip of an iceberg layered with lots of unintentional criticisms, innuendos, etc. Meanwhile in an attempt to ask for help, the sender may have had no underlying intentions behind it. However, in the eyes of the receiver, the request might be seen as implicit commentary on some of their “negative character traits.” To the receiver, the request might reiterate how demanding and inconsiderate the speaker is in their relationship. Furthermore, in the receiver’s mind, it could also add to the continued dialogue criticizing the receiver’s failure to anticipate the speaker’s silent need for help. Making things even more complicated is the way the receiver absorbs the message through the speaker’s tone, volume, body language, and prior experiences.
Nevertheless, you can avoid getting into a death spiral with your partner or any other person, for that matter utilizing the following helpful tips.
